I'll wander mazily
Tonight
I feel like I am watching a movie. One
in which some devastating injustice is taking
place but nobody in the film believes it,
or cares, or both. And naturally, since
the director has done well, I am
angered at the travesty, the unfairness,
but I am helpless, at the whim of the
storyboard. Yet, slowly I remember
I am not watching a movie.
I am watching my wife. I am watching her
nurse our baby, tears like marbles colliding
down her face, where bigger marbles spill.
Where I watch a sea of marbles, sighing
on the tide, the rising, falling of great tear waves,
and the baby oblivious, and me helpless,
watch her weep with pearls of milk
curling in her lips. And it is all a movie
because I am helpless, because my years
of manhood have failed to prepare me
to do anything more important than
be in mere awe of this thing, this
painful joy of the swells of motherhood
enlivened here beneath my eye’s flaring,
stagnant lens.
Oh God, has beauty ever gazed
on life so sweet as this soft weeping?
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